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A fine question Sir! Many have asked, and most have failed to come up with a suitable answer. You may as well ask – What prompted the big bang? Who killed JFK? Who was Jack The Ripper? But ask the right people, and maybe just maybe you’ll be granted entrance into the arcane world of James Randall and Ross Cleaver.
Sharing a staggering 20 years of friendship between them, which was based on a shared admiration of ‘Blackadder Goes Forth’ and a desire not to get beaten up by bigger boys. It has stood firm despite the distractions of girls, Grunge Rock, poncy degrees, living in different countries, and a fiery disagreement over both the Spider-Man movies and the direction of the Star Wars franchise. Yes, it goes without saying that they are friends through the biblically fat, and the supermodel thin.
Finding that the annoyance of the adult world was getting in the way of their always impassioned discussion of such key issues as exactly how would you go about surviving a zombie apocalypse and was Jonny Briggs’ brother growing magic mushrooms in the basement? They hatched a nefarious plan – why not set in stone a regular time and place to meet up and catch up… and then just record it? It worked pretty well for Richard Nixon after all…
So now, you too can join in on the boundless fun of two men ill-equipped to deal with the rigours of the 21st century, and both in positions of worrying responsibility (A teacher and the owner of a design company respectively) talking about the flotsam and jetsam of their minds and modern culture, and every now and then it’s pretty funny, and best of all it’s free! If you want to get them to discuss or share their thoughts on anything – double-entry bookkeeping to the longest time past the ‘Best Before’ date they’ve consumed food, try them – we guarantee content and contentment!
What magical/super power do you wish you had?
J: I actually have two anyway – I can sleep anywhere at anytime (it’s not kleptomania, I’m just sleepy) and I’m one of the loudest men in history. So, if I had to add to this pantheon of powers, I suppose I’d go for flight – anything to get me above plebs!
R: I always wanted that power that girl had on that american kid's sitcom where her dead alien dad lived in a plastic box on the sitting room table. You know the one where you put your fingers together and can stop time. I have come up with loads of applications for that in my rich and vibrant fantasy life over the years.
What is your favourite time of the day and why?
J: Late at night baby. I’m like Das Vampire – I often hoped that I’d get better at mornings as I’d get older… no dice! I only come alive about 10:30.
R: That's true, I have had the horrific task of waking the J beast on many 'a occasion. Personally I like the hours of the day when I am asleep dreaming... mmmm lovely dreams...
If You could only read one book for the rest of your life, what would it be?
J: Hmm. Practically, I’d go for The SAS Survival Guide – When I was at school, I thought that book could help you survive anything up to and including a Martian invasion! But in all honesty, I’ll cheat and pick 2 – The New York Trilogy by Paul Auster and Watchmen by Alan Moore.
R: Cheat... I would pick The Neverending Story... at least you would never get bored but then again you would never get to find out what happened in the end
Why do birds suddenly appear every time you are near?
J: Vultures can smell death, that’s why!
R: Cos I is a bird magnet init.
If you actually had a TARDIS what period in time would you go to?
J: It would be so easy to say ‘Ahh, Ancient Rome’ or something, but whenever I’ve done any historical research, people live similar lives throughout history – complaining about government, worrying about their kids, moaning about getting old, its all just different hats and trousers at the end of the day. So I’d go for the late 1970s-1980s as I’d like to experience my childhood through adult eyes – and I could clean up at the bookies!
R: I wouldn't go back any further than 50 years or so, personal hygiene of the people of the past was rank. The future here I come...
What was the last thing you put in your mouth?
J: The ashes of Oliver Reed
What’s the best film you’ve ever seen – in the cinema?
J: I could go for a nostalgia choice, like Ghostbusters but I’ll stick with Fight Club. Still movie perfection in my geeky eyes!
R: Fight club was pretty damn amazing, The original Chainsaw Massacre was the only film where I realised I was literally sitting on the edge of my seat holding my breath.
What would your Porn Star name be?
J: Jonny Van Axledongen
R: James Randall
What’s the most embarrassed you’ve ever
J: Many who know me would say that my ongoing existence is a carnival of embarrassment, but I genuinely can’t recall being embarrassed. Honestly! Our occasional guest – My Mum – has got some crackers, but you’ll have to listen in to find them out…
R: When I realised that I was too old to be wearing nothing but my pants and wellie boots at a car boot sale. Or when my home made Mummy costume unraveled at the cub scout halloween party and I only had my pants on underneath.
Kirk or Picard?
J: I admire the life and work of William Shatner, but hey, no-one says smooth-domed sophistication like Picard. And he was in the movie version of Dune!
R: No one does a double handed punch like the Shat.
Who put the Ram in the Ramadamadingdong?
J: The earl of Sandwich whilst at a gaming table I believe.
R: He-man's special friend Ram-man of course.
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OUR YOU TUBE PAGE
From tme to time we feature upcoming / unsigned bands in between our waffle. If you would like us to play your stuff and you own the full rights to your recording email us over a MP3 with a bit of info about yourself and we will see if we can fit you into an episode.
'Fell In Love At The Arcade' by The Soda Pop Kids
'Hollywood' by The young Werewolves
'Like a Knife' by William Joseph
'Victory Cigarettes' by True Swap Neglect
'Neil Armstrong' by Sykes